The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
