Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
