I love having hate sex.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize