I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Randomize
