sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
