my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
