Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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