Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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