you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Randomize