i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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