I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
