No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
And then he peed in my hair
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