Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
