capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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