anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
