I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
