i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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