I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
