Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
