The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
