btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
whose parrot is this?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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