I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
How's work?
Spinning.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
