Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Randomize
