Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
