So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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