i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
smell my finger.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
