Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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