Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
