Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
