ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize