Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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