My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
