the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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