Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
