One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
