so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
