he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
