Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
the liver wants what the liver wants
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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