I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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