we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
