The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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