he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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