i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Randomize
