morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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