U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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