Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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