I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
