I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
worst night to have a conscience
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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