You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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