I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
