I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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