Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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