If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
