between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
