he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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